We often hear about “fight or flight” as a survival response, but there’s another one that’s less obvious: fawning.
Fawning is the instinct to appease, to blend in, and to prioritize others’ comfort at the expense of your own.
It might show up as:
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“It’s fine, really.”
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“No worries, I don’t mind.”
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“Whatever works for you.”
Even when it’s not fine. Even when you do mind.
Fawning is not weakness. It’s your nervous system’s way of staying connected and safe. People-pleasing may have helped you survive situations where conflict felt dangerous or where your needs were consistently unmet.
The good news? You don’t have to live this way forever.
With compassion and practice, you can begin to:
Notice the urge to appease
Pause before defaulting to “yes”
Reconnect with your own preferences and needs
Learn that it’s okay to take up space
Healing doesn’t mean you stop being kind — it means you learn to be kind without abandoning yourself.
If this resonates and you’d like support untangling these old patterns, I’m here. You are welcome to reach out and book your free 30-minute consultation when you're ready.
Annika Schaefer
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